Chance for a family (Russia today 26 September 2009)
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Chance for a family?
лето 2009 г.
Телеканал Russia today (26 мин)
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Deep in the midst of the remote forest the inhabitants of this village have given up on many of modern civilization's perks. Anyone can come here, but only those who pass the test presented by the village's unique lifestyle can stay. The settlement is filled with families, but not in the traditional sense. They have to earn the right to be called mother, father, son or daughter.
Anton Nabiullin is just 13 years old, but already he hates talking about his past. His mother and father were declared “unfit” to care for him and the state sent Anton to an orphanage. From there he came to the village of Kitezh .
Anton: Foster families live here in the village. It's a very interesting place. The children come here to campus to start. And they can stay longer if they are invited.
Maria is Anton's foster mother. A short time ago she gave birth to a boy named Lubomir. She now has four children in her family, three of whom she's fostering. Ususally a newcomer takes two years to adapt to their new family. There's a brief honeymoon period when foster children are generally obedient. They behave for fear of being sent back to the orphanage. But later they begin testing the limits of what is permissible. This is the most testing time for their adoptive parents.
When Anton had just turned 13 he behaved like an 8 or 9 year old boy. He was missed, he was cried and sulked . In short, his behavior was not typical for the 13 y.o. boy. It was difficult for his…
Было очень сложно ( Маша )
We had to devote too much attention to him at the expense of the other three children.
Michail is Anton's foster father. He used to work in an international oil company. His life followed a usual pattern from year to year: work, home, fitness club, vacation in a foreign country. But then Michail felt an urge to break from the routine. When he gone wind of Kitezh he saw the chance to make difference for himself and for others. He quit his job and came here to be a teacher. It was here that Michail met Maria.
-Children often behave a bit like savages here. They just don't know what to make of their new fathers and mothers. The child's real mother would be damn up . And his real father would booth for weeks on end . That's all he ever saw in his life. We must show them something different. Something that will erase those pain from memories.
- Shall I pour it out?
Kitezh families prepare the orphans for their adult life. Foster parents teach them to earn money and deal with conflict. Children here are educated through work in the community.
Michail: Our purpose is to elevate the childrens' cultural level.
The six families that live in Kitezh on a permanent bases have 20 foster children in total. Anyone wanting to foster a child has to go though the approbation period. Some give up after only a couple of days, others stay here for the rest of their lives. All of the communitie's adults decide on whether a newcomer will be allowed to stay and live there.
• oops! He sneaked into a hole!
Lying, cursing and emotional outburns are not allowed among the adults. They are not supposed to say: “I'm fed up with those idiots”, they are not supposed to say: “my house is my castle” We have no use for that saying. On the contrary, we find (?) out to them that they live in the community, we ask them to talk about their problems, and we try to help them deal with them. We also tell them they have no right to conceal the children's behavior.
--- Archieve
As a young man, Dmitry Morozov worked as a teacher at children summer camps where each year children from orphanages spent three months. It was there that Dmitry first played with the idea of bringing them together with the aspiring professional foster parents.
-Hello, guys! What are you doing?
-We're taking soda's to the construction site.
Dmitry eventually became a journalist, but never abandoned his dream. In 1993 he quit his job and built the village of Kitezh with the group of friends.
--- end of archieve
There are always volunteers in Kitezh, they willing to do pretty much anything they are asked. Most of the volunteers are college students from the United States , England , Scotland and France . 64-year old Richard Brockbank is a skilled carpenter who came to Kitezh from Scotland . In the village Richard makes benches, carve things out of wood and teaches the children woodwork. Anton is one of his favorite pupils.
Richard: I first met Vlad here very soon after he arrived in Kitezh. He had no English then. He's now got a lot more English, so we've got much better communication and then he were showing a little practical skills and they are still here with him and it's really good to have his understanding of the process what's needed, what's involved.
Everything in the village has been build by it's inhabitants. A recent addition is a gas supply system. A new bathroom with a toilet and a gas water heater. Sergey Zhuravlev is a Kitezh graduate. He grew up with one of the foster families in the village. As a child he dreamed of living a high life in the big city. Sergey left local school with good grades and went on to do military service. In Moscow he trained to be an electrician. But finally he returned to Kitezh to work.
- I wasn't thinking of staying in Kitezh. I thought I find a job in Kaluga and Moscow . But when I was already in 10-th grade I decided to stay in Kitezh after all. I like it here. I grew up in Kitezh. I'd say it's my second home.
Guests often come to Kitezh. Sergey always meets them in the nearest village: there is no public transport to their final destination. We are on our way to Baryatino. It's the village where I lived before I came to Kitezh. We just have a look around and I'll show you where my apartment is. It's just a place. I don't feel any emotional connection to it. Nothing.
Sergey's parents divorced. And later his mother passed away. Some of his relatives are alcoholics. Sergey is not in contact with them. He ran out the apartment that he used to share with his mother and father and left his native village 15 years ago. Life there has changed little since. My memories of that time are faint. Without any real emotion. It is the ground floor where I lived. What kind of life was it? I don't really have an answer for that.
Kitezh foster parents don't expect high praise for their work. Tamara Pichugina is something of the village legend. She spent a long time working as a volunteer. She came to Kitezh after her husband divorced her, leaving her to care for their four children. She needed breathing space to get over her personal tragedy, but also wanted her children to get an education in the community. Eventually she decided to stay for good. Tamara has raised seven foster children as well as her own. She has the largest family in Kitezh.
- We have to make a little bit go a long way here. Things have to last. This is a big family, you see. So we need to make sure that the younger children get things from the older ones in good shape.
At 8 years old Maxim is the youngest foster son in Tamara's family. He is doing his house job , his compensation for bad behavior. Here they insist on the word compensation being used instead of the term punishment. Maxim argued with a girl and hit her very hard. His mother told him he was not go out for two days and must to clean a house instead.
Maxim, Katusha and I were away yesterday and when we came back I was told that you had hit a girl. Is that true?
• Yeah
• Why did you do that?
• She started it
• Come along here. Sit down for a moment. I'd like to talk to you. Was it painful, do you think?
• Yeah.
• It pains me too.
Some children from Scotland are staying at Tamara's house. They are visiting friends in Kitezh. In the evenings they get together over tea. Tamara's foster children now have no difficulty chatting in English, but their mother recalls that sometime ago they would even refused to talk to anybody. They were a pretty shy bunch. They even refused to eat meat, because they've never tasted it before. All they ate was bread. They threw chunks of meat under the table. They new it couldn't go into the trash, because the adults would see and get angry. At the orphanage they just learned to throw food on the ground and trample it. They only ate bread and tea. Sometimes they agreed to have stewed fruit. They always stocked their pockets with bread. And they were aggressive too. They beat each other. Even the girls fought with each other. And they cursed. Tamara patiently explains to the children that stealing is forbidden and cursing wasn't nice. Her own children help to teach them good manners too.
And this is my daughter Maria. She lives in Orion. And this picture was taken in Orion.
Orion is the name of another village for foster children founded by Maria Shibaeva. Her idea is to turn it into international scientific center. The project's aim is to teach adults how to raise their own children and foster children properly.
The Orion community is 230 kilometers from Kitezh. The village was founded by Maria Shibaeva, who is studying to b у a psychologist. She uses every opportunity to build herself a new life here.
• Hi, how's life?
• Just fine!
At just 24 Maria is also a president of the Orion village. It's a position that carries a far more responsibility than privilege. She manages the community's budget, negotiates with sponsors. teaches at the local school and supervises construction.
• This is our notice board. It reflexes our life here. So what's in the plans? Time to make money. Ok. Now we're going to build a new house for ourselves, we're going to peak wild strawberries and lay a foundation for a fence. That's all for today.
Maria grew up in Kitezh alongside the foster children. She's always been around children who have a history of being abused, mistreated and neglected by their parents. When she was still at school she resolved to help them by creating a community for them. Maria already has four foster children: two girls and two boys, including Ruslan, who's happily working on a new house for the families.
• Hi, kid. How is life?
• It's fine
A new house is built in Orion each year. But this village won't only be for foster children. It also welcomes those who want to know how to properly raise fostered or their own children. A difficult job in itself. This research centre will develop programs drawing on the experience gained from work with foster children and families in Kitezh. They will be targeted not only at foster families, but also to regular families having difficulties with their children.
A psychologist is always the first to greet new foster families in Kitezh and Orion. 8 year-old Dima was at an orphanage only a month ago. The process of adapting to his new environment has been a difficult journey for him. Dima is closed of and withdrawn. And the psychologist needs to make him feel at ease and open up to communicate. This behavioral training is called: “let's design our own house”.
• So here there'll be a hump, and there'll be swims.
• Swims on the roof?
• No, behind the house.
Dima draws part of the picture without help. He is trying to find his place in this new world.
• I am helping him to join in and get involved as he's not yet a part of the group. You can already see the result: before you came he was sitting in the corner, he refused to go through the training exercise.
The children enjoy the playful training. Part of it is called: “what I like about you”. This simple and effective exercise helps promote trust and sympathy among the children.
• Nastya, what I like about you today, is that you are in a happy mood.
• What I like about you is that you've painted my arms.
• Dima, what I like about you is that you don't wimp anymore.
• Vera, what I like about you today, is that you are beautiful.
Titling fear is among the most important aspects of the training. Children from group homes or orphanages often cannot cope with their emotions. In this exercise they use pillows to build their fears and then destroy them.
After class the children get to work. They also get paid for it. Children in Orion learn the meaning of money and how to earn it and spend it. The local currency is called the “Ori”.
After work these children take their ories to a restaurant where other children make good food for them. Everyone can spend as much money as they've earned. If somebody slacks in the job they get boiled buckwheat instead of fish or a meat pie. That's how it is in a real life, isn't it?
Ori are only accepted in this village. By playing with money the children prepare themselves for life outside Kitezh. There are several ways to earn their cash. The children even get paid if they learn to recite verse.
• do you like it? You might as well learn it by heart.
• It's too long.
A kitchen is always a good place to earn a little money, since they always need helping hands. The community president Maria Shibaeva shows them how to make salads and gives her opinion on the food they cook.
- this isn't a typical fridge. We call it a therapeutic fridge. That's because it's transparent and children can see with their own eyes that they'll have something to eat.
One hour of any kind of work earns 80 ories. If a child can't complete a job, they get less money. Svyatoslav and Petya have worked hard and managed to get a handsome sum of cash.
• Hey, men! Well done! Here is your pay. Petya has earned 80 ories. 80 ories.
• 80?
The children usually spend the money they earned in candy (?), but for them it feels as a fancy restaurant.
• I would like it all please with fruit punch.
The waiters are always pleased to see their customers. After all they get their well-earned ories from them.
• bon apetit!
• thanks
- mom, what should I pour first?
After lunch Maria Shibaeva's foster children get together over tea to discuss their plans for the coming week.
• ok, let's have some tea. You know, children, this is one of the few tea parties we're going to have before all of us meet again in couple of weeks. Do you think we'll change between now and then? If so, what sort of change will it be?
Orion's foster children are about to go to Kitezh to take part in some international role playing.
Team-building is the name of the game. It's based on Slavonic tribal legends. Children from Kitezh, Orion and their friends from Scotland take part. Before coming here on their first visit the Scotts have exchanged letters with their Russian friends. The game's first round is a talent show.
(Singing)
One of the most exciting moments of the game. Tata nomata attacks Slavonic tribes. In accordance with the script the children defend a wooden idle, the tribe's most treasure possession. The volunteers play the attackers.
• you didn't expect us, did you? Your idles gone. And now you're slaves.
In the morning children unload provisions. Once a fourth night they bought it in the discount wholesale store. The community constantly economizes. Foster parents get 4,5 thousand dollars per child per year from government. The sum barely covers the cost of the food the child needs. Therefore sponsors shoulder the cost of the housing construction, as well as there clothes, education and medical care.
• during summer camps even more food is bought to cater all the additional children.
They serve three meals a day in Kitezh. And all of the community's inhabitants dine in the cafeteria. The kitchen puts out only soup and a second course.
• Spread it out in equal parts.
The families make cookies and pies at home. Today's menu includes pea soup, vermicelli soup, stewed vegetables and pilaf. Pilaf with raisins is for vegetarians.
• anyone can enter the kitchen anytime. Children, and adults alike. They help me if I need help. That's how thing are run here. It's our home. It's not like children's home. We live as a family.
On a normal day 50 people come for lunch in Kitezh. But today Chef needs help: she has to provide food for ninety people - fifty locals and forty guests from Scotland . Those on duty wash the dishes after the guests leave the dining-room. That's when Vasily Burdin comes along. He was brought up in the family of the community's founder – Dmitry Morozov. Each summer Vasiliy comes to Kitezh on vacation.
• Whenever I visit Kitezh I play the piano. As soon as I arrive I go straight to this piano and play as long as there's nobody around. I find it very relaxing after a day of hard work. I really need relaxation, so I play the piano and I feel good.
Vasiliy rent an apartment in Moscow where he's attending college. He's already found employment at a prestigious law firm. When he stays in Kitezh he's only too willing to take on the most difficult tasks. Hard work is a habit he learned in Kitezh.
• Everybody should be constantly developing, which means working. That's how I feel now. But when I was younger with my friends I had hated arguments about it and even got offended.
The education system in Kitezh has helped Vasiliy and other Kitezh graduates build successful careers. Vasiliy learned how to make money. The successful career has wiped out the memories of his childhood hardships.
The carpenter Richard Brockband had mad a design depicting the reason for Kitezh. Raising well rounded people ready to live in a modern world.
• It starts with a flower and then it prepares for the being the bug as he goes higher and then right upper the top it opens up, it's the inner soul of a child. It's finally shows opened up. The idea of the sun is – the plants need the sun and to me the sun is the source of love, that is why I gave it a heart shape.
There is another newcomer to Tamara Pichugina's large family. She's decided to accept yet another girl as a foster child.
• hello! What you have been doing?
• Drawing
Katya is 7 years old. She stayed for a week with Tamara three months ago. After that she said she wanted to stay for longer. Katya's life has undergone a significant change: she now has a home, a wardrobe and a bed, but like many orphans it will take her a long time to realize that this is actually her family just as other children have elsewhere.
• when I came here it was like a fairy-tale. Fairy-tale. Because the place is very beautiful. I now have good friends, somehow I've got here's to life here. I wont go away.
Many children coming to Kitezh from a children's home feel like heroes. Fairy-tale heroes, capable of confronting any of life's problems with the help of wise instructors. And just like a fairy-story for this once neglected children nothing is now impossible.